you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't deserve a penis
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
