she was so not down for the gang bang
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
