I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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