I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
