RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
