Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
