I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
