While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
