there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
