My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
