I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
