remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
