I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Who died my cat blue again?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
