Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
