they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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