D3 body, D1 cock
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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