Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize