Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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