dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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