Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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