she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize