Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
