i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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