Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
