we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
