I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
