Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
