gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
