I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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