shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
