The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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