the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this just has baby written all over it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
