I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize