3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
