lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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