I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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