he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
