It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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