You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize