these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
