Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
