Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it's like iHOP with fire
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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