Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
