Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
