Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just had sex on a roof
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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