He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize