She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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