Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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