I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
