How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
