Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So many bounce houses so little time
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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