Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
