Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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