Where are you?
In a non slutty way
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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