You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
