are you still at the devil's house?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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