So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
