i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize