Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
