I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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