Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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